


Sterek RPs

by seekeronthepath



Series: Sterek RPs [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anchors, College, Derek dating someone else, Established Relationship, Female Stiles Stilinski, Friendship, Insecure Stiles Stilinski, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Omegle Roleplay, Pack Feels, Pack Mother Stiles Stilinski, Pet Names, Pre-Slash, Sharing a Bed, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Tattoo Artist Derek, Texting, no infidelity, truth spell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 11:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4261239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekeronthepath/pseuds/seekeronthepath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of those rare yet awesome occasions when an omegle conversation became a story I wanted to share. Each chapter is its own complete fic - capped at ten chapters.</p>
<p>Chapter-specific tags are as follows...<br/>Chapter 1: Pack Mom Stiles, mutual pining, insecure Stiles<br/>Chapter 2: Mutual pining, Derek has a boyfriend (no infidelity)<br/>Chapter 3: Pet names, new relationship<br/>Chapter 4: Truth spell reveals Stiles' feelings<br/>Chapter 5: Established relationship, planning for college, planning a long-distance relationship, ft. Scott and Isaac<br/>Chapter 6: Canon divergent AU, spark!Stiles, fem!Stiles, tattoo artist Derek, pre-slash<br/>Chapter 7: After season 3A, Derek goes away and comes home again, bed-sharing, pre-slash<br/>Chapter 8: Alpha Derek (everyone is alive); established relationship; proposal; bipolar Stiles; intervention, ft. Scott<br/>Chapter 9: Love confessions, miscommunication, ft. Isaac<br/>Chapter 10: Friendship, anchors, pre-slash, Stiles and Scott are drifting apart, after 3B</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pack Mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The betas have been weirdly affectionate with Stiles lately. When he asks Derek about it, he learns something that surprises him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only take the blame for the Stiles parts of this conversation - if you happen to be the truly excellent writer who wrote the Derek half, I'd love to give you credit for it.

**you need to talk to your betas.**

Don't feel like it.

**dude!**

What?

**what sort of a shitty excuse is that?**

It wasn't an excuse. It was an answer.

What are they doing?

**...they're being weirdly over-affectionate at school**

**I was a complete social outcast, okay?**

**now I'm the weird kid with bonus biker gang**

I already warned them about this. I knew this would happen, and believe it or not, it's actually not as bad as it could be.

**it could be worse?!**

Way worse. You should see them when you're not around.

**wait - do you mean they're worse with each other when I'm not around, or do they just glomp on you?**

**because that is the weirdest mental image**

They don't "glomp" on me.

...Most of them.

**as in not Boyd**

I meant when you get brought up in the conversation.

Pretty much, yeah.

**ok, no, don't deflect - when I come up in conversation, what exactly happens?**

**oh my god, do they _pine_?**

I don't know what you mean by that.

What I mean is they've got...well, I guess a nickname for you.

And they take it seriously.

**I think I know where this is going and I don't like it.**

Where is it going, then?

**I have the right to remain silent. I'm not going to incriminate myself.**

Fine then. No more questions.

**dude, no fair**

**tellll meee**

**Derek**

**tell me**

**Derek**

**I can keep this up for hours you know I can**

If you don't stop trying to be annoying, I'll send them TO your house.

**will they tell me?**

They call you the pack mom, you idiot.

**...**

**yeah, that sounds about as bad as I thought it would**

**also, why?**

Do they need a reason? They're idiots.

**no, but I bet they have one**

**also, stop insulting your betas**

**you're supposed to support them**

I don't support them when they use their abilities to find out my secrets and then annoy me and everyone else about it afterwards

Then I can insult them

**what?**

**what are you talking about?**

**which secrets are these?**

Nothing. Nothing at all.

**did you think that was going to work, like, at all?**

If they had to find out using their abilities, what makes you think I'd tell you?

**because you'd rather tell me yourself than have them tell me**

**also you tell me all the secrets**

**I am the secret-keeper**

I haven't told you half my secrets.

**but considering the amount of time we've known each other, you've told me a lot of them**

**also, everyone tells me things**

**eventually**

They tell you things because you make them.

**and they feel so much better afterwards, when they have someone to confide in**

**also, we're usually not dead afterwards, which is the goal**

I don't want to confide in you. I want to sleep.

**are you sure?**

**you promise this won't be a deadly secret three weeks down the line?**

Not unless your dad figures it out.

**that's...not ideal**

**ideally, there is no potential for death**

Thanks for that useful comment, Einstein.

**in some circumstances, potential death of villainous evil is a plus**

**although in general, yes, no death**

Part of me feels like I should be concerned, but I think I'll just continue ignoring you.

**aww, you don't ignore me Derek**

**you ___ pretend_ to ignore me**

**and then you sass me to death, usually**

[delay]

**you're not actually funny**

**seriously, though**

**whatever this is, it's not going to kick us in the metaphorical nuts later on?**

It shouldn't. It doesn't affect anyone else.

**that's not actually as reassuring as you think it is**

Why not?

**you make it sound like you've got some incurable disease and it doesn't matter because you're the only one dying**

**it matters**

Texting you today I've definitely realized there's something wrong with me, but it's not life threatening.

**ok then. I trust you, Derek.**

**just...think about telling me?**

I don't know what the benefit of that would be.

**people only keep things secret when they matter, and not being able to talk about something that matters is lonely and disheartening**

**you know there's a lot I don't talk about, but being _able_ to talk about it with you...it helps**

I don't know what I'd say

**sometimes words are hard**

Do you want to just hear why they call you the pack mom?

**I want to hear what you want to tell me**

**although I'm definitely curious**

They're related.

**ok**

I guess the betas started noticing I act a little different around you. The smells I give off, my overall behaviour.

**because I'm an annoying human**

Just shut up and let me finish

**shutting up**

Erica took the others to confront me. They wanted to know if I had feelings for you...

**asklfeiowklj**

**sorry, dropped my phone, still shutting up**

...right.

I tried to lie, but they could hear my heartbeat and freaked out. They're protective of you now because their alpha has feelings for you...And also because you act like a mom.

[pause]

**am I allowed to talk now?**

If you must.

**ok, there is kind of a lot to talk about there - I act like their mom?**

**but more importantly, you have FEELINGS for me?!**

**since when?**

1) Literally everyone sees it. 2) I'm not sure. Maybe since the pool?

**what.**

**but...you said you didn't trust me? I thought you hated me back then**

Correction, you hated me. But you still held my ass up for how long?

It definitely left an impression.

**I didn't hate you**

**I never hated you, actually**

**I mean, sometimes I thought you were an asshole**

**but that's not the same thing**

Gee, thanks.

Is sharing time over now?

**...no**

**why didn't you ever act on it?**

Because I'm an older werewolf and you're a young human son of the sheriff.

**Derek, you'll always be older, you'll always be a werewolf, I'll always be the son of the sheriff, and I'll probably always be human**

**were you planning to _never_ act on it?**

I'm a fan of the ignoring it until it goes away technique

**it's never worked for me**

**I mean, with Lydia, it could be kind of painful being hung up on her**

**even when I didn't want to be anymore, it took that ship being strung up and shot before I could actually let it go**

**and this other guy...**

**I always knew I never had a chance with him - he was ridiculously hot, and older, and generally awesome**

**I'd never dare do anything about it, and it's been months**

**and apparently that asshole had feelings for me too and decided it wouldn't affect me to keep them hidden**

So it looks like we're both to blame here.

But I'm going to put most of that on you. Just because you're Stiles.

**seriously? 1) as if I was ever going to think I had a chance with you, you are _way_ out of my league. 2) you're a werewolf, and you literally just told me the betas figured out how you felt, so I'm pretty sure you were being _deliberately_ obtuse**

Seriously. 1) I don't blame you after the Lydia fiasco that lasted too many years, but that last part's not true. 2) You always think I'm being deliberately obtuse. It's lost its affect.

**so, uh. what now?**

I'm not sure.

The "kids" thought I should ask you out, but I haven't dated anyone since high school.

**well I haven't dated anyone ever**

**but, you actually want to do this?**

**because the fact that you were planning to ignore it forever, and your reasons, isn't exactly promising**

I do, but your faith in me isn't exactly promising either. Why are your reasons any better than mine?

**I thought you were unattainable**

**I was sick of rejection, so I didn't try**

And I have an allergy to letting people close. Especially boys with protective fathers and, as far as I was aware, crushes on teenage girls.

**so it's not that you thought I wasn't worth it?**

No, of course not.

Are you trying to push me away, or do you honestly just doubt me this much?

**no!**

**no, I want this, I want _you_**

**I just...**

You just...?

**no-one's ever wanted me, so I'm a little shell-shocked**

**and I don't want to push you into doing something you don't want**

**you sounded, earlier, like you didn't want this, even if you did have feelings for me**

**and it's a little too good to be true, compared to my usual luck**

**so I asked: do you actually want to do this?**

**because if you don't want to, we don't have to**

**I'd rather you be happy**

Stiles, shut up.

I already told you I want this, too. If you don't believe me, ask anyone else in the pack, but I'm not going to stay on the phone trying to force this into your head if you really can't believe me for just a second.

**...ok**

Okay?

**okay, I believe you, okay, I want this too, okay, let's try, just...don't give up on me**

Thanks for the vote of confidence. And if it really matters, I'll tell the pack to lay off.

I don't want to make things weird for you.

**I'm trying! It's not that I don't have confidence in you, it's that I don't have confidence, period. I'm pretty sure if you put your mind to it you'd be the best boyfriend anyone could have, and I _know_ it seems like I'm doubting you, but I'm _not_, I'm just an idiot who can't believe they'll ever get something good, and I _know_ I'm being an idiot, I just...**

**I really, really like you, Derek**

**I want to date you, and I want you to be my boyfriend**

**and I want to be part of your pack, and maybe even pack mom if that's how it works out**

**I think you're amazing**

**you're one of the most loyal people I know, and I know Scott**

**you always try to do the right thing, and to help other people**

**you're sarcastic, and smart, and funny**

**you're unbelievably beautiful**

**and every time I've needed you, you've been there**

You _are_ being an idiot, but for some reason I like you. Idiocy and all. So stop worrying for just a second. Jesus, I haven't even taken you on a date yet. If you think I'm all these things and you already know I feel the same way as you, then just imagine what all I think about you.

You can be my boyfriend, you can even be pack mom if you want, but I'm going to need you to take a blind leap of faith here.

**okay**

**a little reassurance now and then probably won't go amiss, but okay**

And I'll give you some when you need it, but I've already said everything I can think to say right now.

**I said it before, I trust you, Derek**

**I'll trust you with this**

Good. Then maybe the pack will finally get off my back about making things "official".

Now open your window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this mostly to keep a record of it, but also because I enjoyed the story we came up with. I hope you guys liked it too!


	2. Derek has a boyfriend (and his name's not Stiles)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles and Derek are best friends, but Derek got a boyfriend recently and things are awkward. Luckily, they're able to work it out.

Stiles sighed, watching Derek as he watched TV and he took a deep breath. Derek had been acting weird. He had been pushing Stiles away and not talking to him as much. They had this thing, Stiles would sit on Derek's lap and Derek would immediately know something was wrong. But Stiles tried that tonight and Derek just pushed him off of him. Stiles sighed and stood. "I'm gonna head home."

Derek frowned. He knew he had been distracted lately, but normally Stiles would never just leave halfway through an episode, not without a reason. "What's wrong?"

"You haven't spoken to me since I got here. You've just been texting on your phone." Stiles huffed, "It's like suddenly I'm too boring for you."

Derek thought back over their evening. He had been distracted...it's just that Jake had been telling him about his day at work, and complaining about his ridiculous boss, and...Derek had been ignoring Stiles to talk to Jake. "Shit. I'm sorry, Stiles, it's not about you, it's just..."

"It's Jake." Stiles shook his head, "I'll text you tomorrow or something." Stiles sighed, "Bye, Derek." Stiles headed to the front door, running a hand through his hair.

"Wait!" Derek cried out, jumping up to follow him. "I'm sorry, Stiles, really, I...don't go? Please?"

Stiles turned to look at Derek, "You pushed me off your lap. You never do that." Stiles said, looking hurt.

Derek bit his lip. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't've...it feels weird, being close to you like that when I'm dating someone else, but I, I should have explained, talked about it, not just pushed you away." It was more than that. It had always felt more-than-friendly, having Stiles on his lap, and Derek had selfishly encouraged Stiles to do it anyway. And when he was single, he could pretend that was okay, but...not when he was dating.

Stiles looked down, "Why did you encourage me to do it so much that I got attached to it and now I have to stop?" Stiles asked, clenching his jaw.

Derek clenched his fists, angry at himself. "...I'm sorry, Stiles." He didn't want to tell him, but he got the feeling Stiles wouldn't forgive him until he _did_. He tried to phrase it as innocuously as he could. "I just, I liked being close to...somebody."

Stiles frowned. "Then why do you push me away every time I try to cuddle you or sit on your lap?" Stiles narrowed his eyes, looking up at Derek.

Derek let out a frustrated sigh, looking at Stiles hopelessly. "Isn't that what you're supposed to do, when you're dating?"

"Well, yeah. If your boyfriend has a problem with it." Stiles huffed. "But you could at least tell me instead of just pushing me away."

"I haven't...Jake doesn't know that we do that. Did," Derek corrected. "I just...figured he wouldn't like it."

"I get it, Derek." Stiles sighed, running a hand over his face, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"You do?" Derek asked hesitantly. Because there was no way Stiles _really_ got it, but...what did he think instead?

"Yeah. You don't wanna make Jake upset and have him dump you. I get it." Stiles shrugged.

Derek bit his lip. He could let it go. That was close enough to his reasoning to pass as the truth. But...Stiles looked so unhappy. And he sounded like he thought Derek didn't think he mattered, that he was dumping Stiles in favour of Jake. And Derek didn't want that, but did he dare...? "It's, uh," he murmured, "not quite that. I feel like I'm cheating on him when I spend time with you, because I...care too much, and that's not fair to him."

"I don't understand, Derek. We aren't doing anything wrong." Stiles frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You aren't," said Derek. " _I_ am." He shrugged. "I've always...liked you too much. If you were only a friend to me, it would be different." He looked away. "I'm sorry, I've been trying to get over it. And it's not fair that I'm pushing you away because of _my_ feelings."

"You....You have feelings for me? _Me?_ " Stiles asked. "That's not funny, Derek."

"What?" said Derek. "Why would I joke about this?"

"You're....amazing and gorgeous and just amazing. There is no way you feel the same." Stiles frowned.

"The...the same?" Derek stuttered. "You...for me?"

Stiles nodded, "Yes. For years I've been in love with you."

Derek stared, his mouth dropping open. "For...for years? We could have been...for years?"

Stiles nodded, "And now you have a boyfriend. Damn it."

"Fuck that," said Derek. "I've been mooning after you since _high school_. I'm breaking up with Jake."

"What? Seriously?" Stiles asked with a grin.

Derek shrugged. "I only started dating him because I thought I never had a chance with you," he admitted. "You never noticed that you look alike?"

"Well, kind of. I mean, he's more attractive than me." Stiles shrugged. "And he doesn't have nearly as many moles as me."

"You've got that the wrong way round," Derek corrected, a growing smile on his face. "Your moles are your best feature. Apart from your eyes. And your hands. And your mouth."

Stiles blushed, looking down so Derek couldn't see. "Glad to know someone else likes my moles."

Derek kissed him on the cheek. "I'll call you when I've talked to Jake, and we can go to dinner or something."

Stiles grinned. “It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit for Stiles and the prompt goes to my excellent collaborator, HeatherNicole.
> 
> Hope you liked it!


	3. Pet Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek and Stiles have just started dating, and Derek wants a pet name for Stiles.

Can I call you "honey”?

 

uhhh

I don't know, can I call you sugarplum?

gummi bear?

pumpkin?

Why do you have to pull out the weird ones?

do you know me?

of course I did

were you actually serious about calling me honey, though?

cause, I didn't really picture you being one for pet names

like, at all

omg, you're secretly all sweet and squishy aren't you

No

I don't know

I'm gonna call you hedgehog now

What the hell?

you're all spiky on the outside, especially when you're feeling defensive

but you have, like, this soft underbelly

and you love being petted

You're going to get tired of calling me "hedgehog" and then end up calling me Sonic.

dude!

you are in no way like Sonic

although you may be right

that is perhaps a thing I might someday maybe do

Can you not...

Please

for you, hedgehog, anything

but seriously, I won't

I'm sure I can come up with better back-up endearments than Sonic

Honey

awww

that's all warm and fuzzy-feeling

you know, I take requests, if there's a nickname you want...?

Derek

:(

I don't get to call you anything?

You already call me Sourwolf.

well, yeah, but...

there's a difference between an affectionate frenemy nickname and a boyfriend nickname

not that I'm going to stop calling you that

but I feel like I should get a new endearment to match our new relationship status

Like what?

Sourboyfriend?

I am rolling my eyes at you right now, I hope you know

Thanks, honey.

see! that!

you know what an endearment is!

you get one, so I should get one!

Okay so come up with one.

challenge accepted

Oh god...

babe, darling, honey, dear, sweetie, sweetheart, boo, angel-face, kochanie, gorgeous, honey-pie, cutie, cupcake (except no, because Finstock), snookums, muffin, sunshine...

I don't think any of those really fit me.

if you don't pick one, I'll find more

Stiles, it's not up to me to pick. It's yours

I picked "honey" because it's the best and it fits you.

really?

how, though?

What do mean "how"?

like, how does the word honey make you think of me, at all

Oh um

Well...

I'm not sweet or anything, I'm just kind of awkward

You are sweet

You're like the efforts of hundreds of tiny bees collaborating to make something great. You're made of flowers and love and everything is sweeter because of you.

I'm like hundreds of bees?

Never mind.

no, don't...

I wasn't making fun of you

I just don't get it

but it's sweet that you, uh, think so, I guess

I really care about you, Stiles

And I think you're amazing

There's a hundred different sides to you and all of them together makes this amazing, intelligent, warm hearted person

oh

And you're sweet.

You make me really happy.

And I haven't had that in a long time. I was so bitter and angry before

I'm...I'm really glad you're happier now

Are you happy?

what?

why would you ask me that?

isn't it obvious?

It's nice to hear you say it.

oh

then yeah, you make me happy too, kochanie

Kochanie?

...mom used to call me that

Is that Polish?

yeah

It's nice

so you like it?

I do

then kochanie it is

\---- 

Would you like to learn Polish?

I know bits and pieces

I could get you the Rosetta Stone for Polish

seriously?

I mean, there's not much point if I don't have someone to speak it with

but...really?

Yes, seriously

that's...amazing, kochanie

thank you

Of course.

dude, don't treat that like it's nothing or it's obvious or it's meaningless

thank you

You're welcome

that's better

do you know any other languages?

Spanish, and I studied Japanese in high school and college

yeah?

you must have liked it, to keep studying it in college

I was good at it

what else did you do at college?

the idea of picking a major is...ugh

I know what you mean.

I should have taken Italian, made my mom happy.

but...?

But I didn't have enough time in my schedule.

there's too much to choose from

What languages do they offer at the school you're applying to?

actually, I've been thinking I should take latin

it's not fair to make Lydia translate things for me all the time, and it would be faster if I could do it

Really? But what about a language that would help you in business?

Derek...

chances are I'll spend the rest of my life in BH

You don't have to

yeah, but the pack is here

I can't just leave

college is one thing, but...

The pack might not stay here for the rest of their lives.

hasn't this been Hale territory for, like, decades, though?

that kind of implies that packs don't move around much

Yeah... but this town also has a lot of bad history

is that why you think we should leave or why the Hales stayed?

that doesn't make sense

it should be one or the other

My family stayed because there was history. It was our territory and we looked after it, but then everything got worse. And now my family is gone.

the family you grew up with is gone, but you're still here, and we're _your_ pack

You wouldn't want to live somewhere else?

You could go anywhere

I don't know

sometimes I feel trapped

but abandoning BH seems just as bad

and you can't tell me leaving would sit right with you, not when you're still here after the last few years

[delay]

You're right

You're always right

We'll just take prolonged vacations when we need to.

yeah?

make the rest of the pack hold the fort while we're gone?

They can handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit for Derek goes to my most excellent conversational partner, whom I will happily name should they ask me to.
> 
> Hope you liked it!


	4. Surprising Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Stiles is hit with a truth spell that everyone _thinks_ is a love spell because of what he says about Derek while under the influence, he and Derek have a conversation.

I'm so sorry

Sorry about what?

I didn't mean to blurt feelings all over you

You don't have to apologize about that, Stiles. 

Your face looked like you were about to freak out. I understand.

oh, I was freaking out all right

still

you looked at least as uncomfortable as me

I should have left once I realised what was happening

Of course I was uncomfortable. You blurted out something you weren't ready to talk about yet.

yeah, I...wait, what?

There is nothing wrong with the feelings. But I wanted you to talk about them at your own pace.

uhhh

what exactly is happening in this conversation?

because I'm confused

Nothing. Forget about it.

forget about it?

come on, as if I'd forget about something like this

are you just being all wise-alpha and comforting right now?

No, this is how I feel about it for real. You found it humiliating and I don't like that. 

well of course it was humiliating, the entire pack spent three hours trying to fix a love spell that wasn't a love spell

I wasn't even officially 'out' to half of them

They probably already knew and it doesn't really matter.

yeah, but I have to entertain a certain amount of denial about what my friends can smell in order not to die of embarrassment a dozen times a week

I like to pretend I have some privacy

Stiles, stop it. This is a pack where we are fine with each other. You don't need to feel like the world is ending.

of course the world isn't ending, it's just...embarrassing

Shouldn't be.

Derek, having spent close to a decade pining after Lydia, I know exactly how embarrassing an unrequited crush is, okay?

I'll get over it in a day or so, if the others keep their mouths shut

but right now it's awkward

You should hang out with me.

what?

I thought...

wouldn't you rather me stay away from you right now?

No, not at all. I actually like having you around, Stiles.

Please?

uh...if you want, I guess

Thank you. You're great.

dude, you complimenting me is really weird

are you okay?

you haven't been witched, have you?

No, not at all. I just like you.

seriously, this is weird

since when?

also, why?

I'm not a particularly likable person, I'm well aware of this

Since... I don't know. Some time?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

You're a great person.

that doesn't mean I'm likable

I'm an annoying little shit like, ninety percent of the time

and, I mean, I'm fairly sure I spent the first three months of our acquaintance pissing you off

Stop it. It took me some time, but I managed to get to know you and I think you're lovely.

Are you trying to convince me to stop liking you?

no

wait, I'm lovely?

no, I mean, I'm surprised is all

I never thought you liked me at all and I've had a weird day and the timing is weird so I'm weird

Stiles, it’s…it’s not unrequited. So just…hang out with me, okay?

…okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All credit for Derek's contributions go to my anonymous collaborator. As always, I am happy to credit you by name if you find this and want me to.
> 
> Hope you liked it!


	5. College Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Stiles are visiting their future college - four hours away from Beacon Hills. Stiles misses Derek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the first section, conversation on the right is Stiles-Derek and conversation on the left is Derek-Scott. In the second section, conversation on the right is Stiles-Derek, center conversation is Derek-Scott, and conversation on the the left is Stiles-Isaac.
> 
> If you are my wonderful co-author, let me know! I'd love to be able to acknowledge your awesomeness.

**From Sourwolf:**

How's your trip?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

eh

could be better

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Why? What's going on?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

just...ugh

scott drama

again

 

**From Sourwolf:**

What happened?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

well, we got to campus, and we were looking at dorms and everything, and I mean, we always planned to room together at college if we could

but he's freaking out because Allison told him this morning that she's planning on going overseas for a gap year

and it pretty much completely overshadowed everything

as always

 

**From Sourwolf:**

I'm sorry.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

it doesn't matter

how's sunnydale?

 

**To McCall:**

I know it's shitty that Allison won't be there but calm down and pay some fucking attention to Stiles for once. He deserves it. He was really excited about this trip. Grow up.

**From Sourwolf:**

Isaac and I have it under control.

Mostly.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

yeah?

what does mostly mean?

 

**From McCall:**

what are you talking about?

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Well. It's eating my couch, but it's kind of cute. In a weird, devilish way. It likes tummy rubs.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

what.

is there a _literal_ hellmouth in BH now?

or are you just being sarcastic?

because it's hard to tell

and with our lives, there is like a 47% possibility that we will encounter an actual hellmouth at some point

 

**To McCall:**

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

He hasn't gotten to really be with you in weeks and he was so, so excited to just have time for the two of you.

And you know he's supportive of you and Allison but sometimes he needs to be the center of your attention.

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Hellhound, actually.

It's cute. I might keep it.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

oh god

I literally cannot tell if you are messing with me

 

**From Sourwolf:**

[image of hellhound sleeping on Derek's half-eaten couch with Isaac rubbing its belly]

 

**From McCall:**

but it is just us?

we're the only ones here

allison is back home

 

**To Sourwolf:**

holy shit

what the fuck, dude

 

**To McCall:**

Not when you're thinking about her the whole time. You get mopey. He notices.

**From Sourwolf:**

It just kind of happened.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

that makes it sound like you got Isaac pregnant with a puppy because you forgot to use a condom, I'll have you know

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Don't worry. I only forget to use condoms with you.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

wow. that was...I don't even know what that was

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Love you too.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

like, was that smooth? or was it appalling? or was it cheesy?

it's practically schroedinger's pick-up line

it's simultaneously good and bad until you open the pants and find out

 

**From Sourwolf:**

You've seen inside my pants.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

I have indeed ;)

 

**From McCall:**

he's thinking about you!

also, whatever you're texting him right now, please stop

I don't want to smell that

 

**To McCall:**

He's only talking to me because you're probably not even looking up from your phone.

Just give him today.

Let him have you today.

 

**From McCall:**

fine

 

**To Sourwolf:**

I've gotta go. ttyl

thanks.

 

**From Sourwolf:**

No problem. Talk to you later.

 

\---------

 

**To Sourwolf:**

hey Derek

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Hey

How was the rest of your tour?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

it was great! the library here is amazing, even with half the books in storage

also, there are at least four different places on campus with bean bags

people nap in them

why doesn't the house have napping beanbags?

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Maybe we should get some.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

:D

although, on second thought, claws

and rustling

 

**From Sourwolf** :

We'd probably end up having sex on it and breaking it.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

maaaybe

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Definitely.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

(I'm pretty sure the betas would claw a few open while play-wrestling too)

and, of course, the hell-hound.

 

**From Sourwolf:**

We had to send it back.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

two questions: why, and how?

actually, three: where?

because I feel like, as pack researcher, I should know these things

 

**From Sourwolf:**

We took him to Deaton, who told us that he couldn't stay or he'd die. And Isaac started crying. And then we had to take him to the woods and open up a portal with some salt and some flowers. And then he left.

And now I'm buying Isaac a dog.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

you are such a sap

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Shut up.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

no, don't be defensive! it's adoooorable! 

 

**From Sourwolf:**

It is?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

babe, I love it when you're sweet

you were going to keep a hellhound that ate your couch because it loved bellyrubs

and because your beta was sad it had to go, you're getting a puppy

you hate dog jokes

and you are getting a dog

it's adorable

also, I know you're blushing right now, which is also adorable

 

**From Sourwolf:**

I am not.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

uh-huh

 

**From Sourwolf:**

I hate you.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

and now you have your defensive scowl on and you're _still_ blushing

 

**From Sourwolf:**

So much hate.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

love you too

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

[picture of Derek smiling at his phone and blushing]

Ew

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

hah! he is currently denying that he is blushing

 

**To Sourwolf:**

Isaac sent me proof

 

**From Sourwolf:**

He's dead.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

the truth is revealed!

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

you told him!

I can't run faster than him!

dammit, Stiles!

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

he's planning on getting you a dog because you were sad, I'm pretty sure you'll be fine

 

**To Sourwolf:**

Derek, don't rough up the baby betas because you're embarrassed you have emotions

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Your face is an emotion.

**From Scarf Puppy:**

he is? a puppy?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

aww, that's sweet of you to say

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

well, he told me he was

but if you didn't know, he probably meant it to be a surprise

so act surprised when it happens

 

**To Sourwolf:**

seriously Derek, you don't have to be intimidating all the time

you're allowed to blush, and smile, and be adorable

 

**From Sourwolf:**

It's just a default setting, I can't control it.

No.

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

okay, I can do that

 

**To Sourwolf:**

Derek, we have talked about this

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

you may want to get out of the way for a little bit

we're talking about feelings and he gets defensive when people realise he has any

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

I'm gonna go hang out with Lydia. Got it.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

I love your resting bitch face, I really do

it's not a problem

but your smile is beautiful, and I love seeing it

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

have fun

 

**From Sourwolf:**

You do see it.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

and it makes me happy every time

 

**From Sourwolf:**

That's good. We're done talking about this now.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

alright

I'm not going to push it from halfway across the country when you've only got words to show you how I feel

I like it when you're happy, that's all

also, definitely get Isaac a puppy

 

**From Sourwolf:**

I know how you feel. But that doesn't mean I'm going to walk around with a smile pasted onto my face 100% of the time.

And I will. It's a Dalmatian. He likes the movie.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

awesome. he'll love it.

I really didn't mean _that_, but I am giving you the option to postpone this conversation until you can see, hear, and smell me

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Fine.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

I love you

 

**From Sourwolf:**

You too.

 

**From McCall:**

I don't know what's going on, but he's smelling really weird right now

like, angry-happy-something?

I know it's you he's talking to

 

**To McCall:**

He's fine. Take him to an amusement park before you come back. He wanted to go to one.

 

**From McCall:**

are you sure? he seems kind of off

this is stiles. scott's going to butt out of our business now, because I'm confiscating his phone

**To Sourwolf:**

thank you for telling Scott to take me to an amusement park

why doesn't BH have an amusement park, Derek?

why is there only a town fair every two years?

I bet taking werewolves to amusement parks is great

you'd get pretty much any prize you want

 

**From Sourwolf:**

I'll take you to Disneyland some day

 

**To Sourwolf:**

seriously?!

because taking werewolves to amusement parks might be great, but I'm fairly sure _being_ a werewolf at an amusement park is shit

 

**From Sourwolf:**

It is. But you'll have fun.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

awww

as long as you take me somewhere you like too

even if it is hiking

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Really?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

yes, of course

as long as you don't mind me slowing you down

and I will probably still complain a lot

but I want to anyway!

I want to spend time with you in ways that make you happy

oh, and thanks for giving Scott advice earlier

 

**From Sourwolf:**

It's nothing.

Are you feeling better?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

I miss you

and I don't like it when we fight

 

**From Sourwolf:**

I didn't think it was a fight.

And I miss you too.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

Not exactly

 

**From Sourwolf:**

What do you want?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

tbh, I just want you here

being here is making me think that college will be really lonely

so I'm a little weird right now

 

**From Sourwolf:**

You're gonna have Scott. And you're going to make other friends.

And I'm only four hours away.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

yeah

god, four hours

you're right, it could be worse

but still

 

**From Sourwolf:**

We're going to be fine, Stiles, okay? Don't worry about it.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

you know me, I'm a worrier

I know we'll be fine in the long run

I don't worry about that

 

**From Sourwolf:**

What do you worry about?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

mostly stupid little things

I worry that you'll forget my scent sometimes

that it'll wear off everything and I won't be there to make it last

I worry that dad'll go off his diet

or Isaac will start dating and I won't be around to meet them

or Lydia will get bored without us around to keep things interesting

or Scott will forget deadlines because he's talking to Allison

or I'll never make friends because I have too many secrets

I just...

I won't _be_ there

 

**From Sourwolf:**

You can send me stuff. Just take a t shirt and stick it in a plastic bag and mail it to me. That works. And I can watch your dad, and Melissa will be too. And Isaac will FaceTime you with whoever he's with, you know that. Lydia's going off to her own genius school, trust me, she's not gonna be bored. You'll be there with Scott to remind him. And he probably will forget some, and that's okay. Everybody's got secrets. And you're fucking awesome. They're gonna love you. Stiles, you will be here. Just a phone call or a text means you'll be right here. And we're not gonna forget about you. We love you, I love you.

It'll be okay.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

...okay

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Okay?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

yeah

just because I think it doesn't mean it's rational

and having you say all that helps a lot

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Good.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

do you worry?

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Yeah.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

what about?

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Doesn't matter.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

if I can help, it does

or if any of the rest of us can

 

**From Sourwolf:**

It's just stupid stuff.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

if it bothers you, it doesn't matter that it's stupid

please?

 

**From Sourwolf:**

[delay]

I'm worried you'll get hurt and I won't be there to protect you.

Or you'll be sad and I won't be able to hug you and make you smile.

And I'm worried you'll find someone else.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

well two of those I can't do anything about except remind you that's why Scott's here

he's not as good as you, but he does alright

but the third...sweetheart, I love you a ridiculous amount

and literally no-one could be better for me than you, I am 100% convinced

you're smart, and funny, and loyal, and honourable, and kind, and beautiful, and utterly amazing

 

**From Sourwolf:**

But you could meet someone closer to your age. And someone who smiles more. And doesn't forget to get you toothpaste at the store.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

Derek, I have lived through too much shit to be happy with a normal person my age

we're all older than our ages now

and I don't want someone who smiles all the time - I want _you_ to be happy

and I really don't give a damn about the toothpaste

 

**From Sourwolf:**

You don't?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

well, I'd prefer if you remembered it, but it's not a big deal

bickering is half of how we communicate, sometimes that means I make molehills out of even smaller molehills

 

**From Sourwolf:**

I love you

 

**To Sourwolf:**

I love you too, Derek. So much.

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

Derek's going to need hugs later

probably a lot

 

**From Sourwolf:**

I have to go, we're getting Isaac's puppy.

He found out. Somehow.

 

**From Scarf Puppy**

why?

is he ok?

he smells kind of sad

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

he's ok, but we've been talking about sad stuff

long-distance things

 

**To Sourwolf:**

are you actually surprised?

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

he's really messed up about that

and he wouldn't want me to tell you

but he is

it's bad

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Not really.

Love you. Talk to you later.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

love you

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

I think I'm getting that

I was freaking out at him, and then he was awesome and reassuring

and then I made him tell me things he was worried about

it was really sad

we should probably talk about it more

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

when you get back

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

yeah

so I can hug him myself

that's one of the things he said he was worried about, you know?

that he wouldn't be there to hug me when I'm sad

splitting up the pack is going to be hard

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

we'll be here for him

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

you know it's not just him I worry about, right?

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

what?

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

I worry about all of you

he's my boyfriend, but you're my pack

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

have you ever thought of not leaving?

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

[delay]

yeah

Derek really wants me to go

so does dad

and Lydia said I'm an idiot if I don't get my education at a quality college

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

they're all right

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

yeah

and it's not like I'm the only one leaving

almost all of us are

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

yeah

almost

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

it's a good thing we're mostly in pairs

I'd be a bit worried about the pack bond otherwise

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

[image of a Dalmatian puppy in Derek's car]

I'm naming him Spot

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

really?

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

what? it's a nice name

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

it's a frigging _obvious_ name

you're really naming a Dalmatian puppy 'Spot'?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

Derek, please deal with your beta's terrible naming choices

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Calm down, he likes it.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

Spot?

and of course he likes the puppy

 

**From Sourwolf:**

You named a teddy bear Beary.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

that was told to you in _confidence_, Derek!

I am shamed and appalled!

(also, I was four)

 

**From Sourwolf:**

It's cute. You're cute.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

I assume you think 'Spot' is also cute, hence your tolerance of that stereotype of a name

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Yep.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

well I, personally, think that names should fall at the high point of the bell curve between 'obscenely popular' and 'unfairly obscure', but since it is not my puppy and I will not be the one responsible for teaching it where to poop and yelling when it gets lost in the preserve, I will gracefully concede

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Good boy.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

pretty sure I've cheered him up now

spot is still a terrible name, so you should expect me to come up with nicknames for your dog, I'm warning you now

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Did too.

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

I can accept that

 

**To Sourwolf:**

so apparently you are secretly six years old

does this fix the age gap problem?

bc if so, I will schedule regular excessively juvenile arguments

for example: did not

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Did toooo.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

did not times infinity

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Did too times infinity plus one.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

(next time I have to remind Chris you're an actual human being I am showing him this conversation)

did not times infinity plus infinity

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Did too and if you agree with me I'll eat you out when you come back.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

holy _shit_ Derek

fine, I agree, what were we even arguing about anyway, also that really invalidates the juvenility of the premise, also also makes it really unlikely I'll ever show this to Chris, was that deliberate?

I feel like that was maybe deliberate

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Maybe.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

you're awesome

 

**From Sourwolf:**

that was _almost_ a star wars reference

speaking of star wars, Scott is concerned about whatever you are saying to me right now

apparently he likes to pretend that you and I don't have sex because it's weird for him, and it's difficult to do that when I smell so much like arousal that I'm 'practically masturbating in there'

I miss you

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Fuck.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

well, you can't expect to say something like that without me retaliating

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Can you get alone?

 

**To Sourwolf:**

uhhhh...

I don't think I can get out of Scott's range unless one of us leaves the hotel

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Never mind.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

I'll make it up to you when I get back, ok?

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Okay.

 

**To Scarf Puppy:**

warning you now, I have made promises for when I get back that you probably don't want to witness the outcome of

 

**To Sourwolf:**

and when I am actually at college, Scott and I will make _arrangements_

there will be sexiling

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Good.

 

**From Scarf Puppy:**

ew. ok. noted.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

I really should sleep

 

**From Sourwolf:**

Then sleep.

 

**To Sourwolf:**

good night

I love you

 

**From Sourwolf:**

I love you too. Very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only take the blame for Stiles, Scott, and formatting (god this one took a lot of formatting). The credit for Derek and Isaac's contributions goes to my anonymous collaborator.
> 
> Hope you liked it!


	6. Skin Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A spark walks into a tattoo parlour...and it turns out the artist is a werewolf.
> 
> AU - pre-canon divergent. Fem Stiles. Tattoo artist Derek. Pre-slash.

Stiles sighed as she walked into tattoo shop, biting her lip softly, her drawing in her hand. She had two full sleeves, but that didn't mean that she was any less nervous any time she went in to a get new piece. She glanced at the drawing in her sketch book again, a detailed celtic knot made from rose stems, thorns obvious around every twist and turn. Stiles leaned against the front counter, lightly tapping the bell, "Excuse me? Hey I'm here for an appointment!"

Derek grumbled to himself as he made his way back out to the counter. Stupid Laura making him work in her stupid shop where a good eighty percent of 'customers' had absolutely no respect for tattoos. Girl out front probably wanted a butterfly tramp stamp or some stupid kanji. "Name?" he grunted as he came into the front room.

Stiles raised an eyebrow as she looked at the man, impressed by his attractiveness but put off by how...off put he seemed by her. She leaned against the counter, smiling, "Last name is Stilinski. The first name is probably misspelled or unreadable. Only reason I gave it was to match my ID. Call me Stiles" She winked at him, laughing softly.

Derek glanced at the girl as he checked the appointment book, took a moment to parse what he had seen, and looked back. From the sleeves she already had, this was no butterfly tramp stamp girl. Actually, he was impressed. They were detailed, intricate, and despite being made up of many smaller tattoos, it all integrated well. "What sort of a name is Stiles?" he snarked back, raising his eyebrows.

She snorted, rolling her eyes, "A nickname. You try saying the monstrosity of a name" She loved her name, Jadwiga. It meant Battle Maiden, and Stiles liked to think that she did justice to her name. And though it wasn't quite the monstrosity that she claimed it to be, no one said it right. Not even her dad. She slipped her flannel off and stretched a little, showing off her sleeves. One arm was almost like a garden. Vines clear in the background with different flowers and ivies in the foreground leading up and over her shoulder. The other arm was constellations, more than a dozen scattered along her arm, with two wolves racing each other up to a large full moon on her shoulder. "So are you going to look at the piece I want or make fun of my name?"

Now that he could see the full sleeves, Derek was even more impressed. The wolves, in particular, spoke to someone familiar with weres - one had gold eyes and one red. It was subtle, but still. "You have a design picked out? he asked, curious.

"I draw my own stuff. The woman on the phone said that was alright and that you were the best at that kind of stuff" She shrugged and smiled, sliding her sketchbook over to him, showing him the intricate lines of the celtic knot, with the rose blooming in the center of it, the vines all leading to that one point.

"Laura recommended me specifically?" Derek asked idly, looking over the design. It was well done, the rose motif integrated with the knot without obscuring it, the vines twisting easily but still looking like vines. "This the size you want it?"

Stiles nodded, "Yeah, that size, right over my heart if you can manage it. And yeah, I know it'll hurt like a bitch. If you don't think it'll look too...messy or forced, I'd like to integrate the vines of my sleeve with the vines in that piece. I want it to look like one solid piece."

He looked her over. "Do you mind coming in the back so I can get a better look?" If he was going to be working it in with existing tattoos, he needed to see what he was working with. He led her towards the back rooms, but she stopped on the threshold, right where the wards were.

Stiles followed him back but was shocked when she couldn't pass through the doorway. She frowned deeply, inhaling slowly, her hand reaching up and resting along the sides of the door. As she exhaled, she stepped through, jaw tight. She looked at Derek, her eyes narrow, but she took a seat, tugging her shirt off. She was wearing a strapless bra underneath, giving him plenty of room to work.

Derek exhaled, relieved. The wards wouldn't have given her trouble If she was plain human, but if they let her through, she didn't mean any harm. "Sorry. Can't be too careful," he said, not sorry at all. "I'm assuming you'd have mentioned by now if you were a wolf, but is there anything I need to know about tattooing you?" He looked over her (very nice) torso and began sketching some options for linking up the sleeve with the new piece.

"If you're comfortable with it, during small breaks, I'd like to take the time to infuse magic into it. Or if you'd let me play around with your ink..." She trailed off and shrugged, leaning back and looking at him, "So who did your wards for you? They're not the most stable things. They should have let me through because I meant no harm. There was no need to stop me."

Derek shrugged. "It's your tattoo. If you want to take magic breaks, that's fine. As far as the ink goes..." he frowned, thinking it over. "We work with too many supernatural customers to let you modify ink we're going to use again." While most of their customers were walk-in idiots, they did quite a lot of business with the less human portion of the population. "I don't want something reacting strangely later. What did you have in mind?" He looked over at the door. "And the wards were done by an old family friend. He doesn't practice much, these days."

She nodded, shrugging, "Makes sense. I use my tattoos for different reasons. I was thinking of infusing protective magic into these. A combination of defensive and offensive stuff. The vines on this arm already come alive. I'll show you some time." She smiled a little, chuckling softly and stretching, "I was thinking of doing the same with this one. I need more vines to work with, more length."

He nodded, sketching ideas as she talked. "Are the flowers significant, or the types of vine? I assume the knot is important, but do you want to create a particular pattern with the rest? There are Celtic borders that use a single strand but spiral it around itself - you could use that to fit more length in less space."

Her eyes softened a little, "They provide strength. I store energy there, backup magic...each flower represents someone I care about and want to protect." She shrugged, "The in this new piece is for my mother. I thought it was time to do something to memorialize her." She bit her lip, thinking about his idea and she nodded, "Yeah, I think I could try that. The celtic pattern isn't as...important"

In general, Derek tried not to pay attention to his customers' scents. There was too much blood and pain in a tattoo artists' studio, and knowing people were attracted to him while he was tattooing them was just awkward. But there was no way he could miss the scent of old grief that billowed from Stiles as she spoke. He looked up from his sketchbook. "I understand that. I have a tattoo for my family." He looked over the possibilities he'd sketched out, and pointed to one. "How about something like this?"

She looked it over and then nodded, slowly, smiling a little. "Add a few more thorns and it's the one. Make them look sharp." Her eyes seemed to gleam and she chuckled a little, tilting her head and looking at him, a small smile on her face. "Sorry, I must reek. Not sure of what, but it must be something sour. Anxiety maybe? I'll try and chill it down..."

Derek raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "No, it's not your job to manage your emotions just because I can smell what they are. What sort of wolves are you hanging around if that's what you're used to?" He frowned a little. "I mean, I appreciate the lack of perfume, but emotional scents...that's not on you."

She shrugged, "We have a new 'wolf in the pack and he's ultra sensitive. My emotions are the most...violent I guess? I don't know. They're the most pungent. I'm a Spark. I feel everything much more than most people do." She chewed on her lip, pulling her hair over her shoulder and braiding it slowly. "It hurts his nose to be around me sometimes, so I try and keep it in check while he learns control."

Derek frowned. "Huh. I haven't been around a lot of bitten wolves - is that a common reaction to the change?" He added some thorns to the sketch he'd shown Stiles. "Is that better?"

She looked over the sketch and grinned, "That's perfect. Seriously..." She looked at him and then nodded. "Yeah, as far as I know. Apart from the crazy alpha that bit my friend, I haven't been around many born wolves. So I thought the extreme sensitivity was normal. It gets better the more they get used to it, but Scott was the same after he was bitten. Over-sensitive"

Derek stared at her. "Your friend got bitten by a rogue? And you both survived the experience?"

She tilted her head, laughing a little and nodding, "Yeah. Killed the bastard too. Well, I mean, for a little bit. I did, not Scott. He's all...pure True Alpha power, I'm more practical. A little magic, little molotov cocktail." She flushed softly, "And in my defense, we were fighting for our lives."

"For a little bit? A True Alpha? Molotov cocktails?" Derek shook his head. "It's a good thing I can hear your heartbeat or I'd think you were lying. What sort of pack  _are_ you?"

**"** It's a long story...This Alpha used our banshee friend to bring himself back to life after I hit him with a molotov." She shrugged, grinning, "My best friend is the True Alpha. That's what my research called it anyway. An Alpha who didn't steal or inherit his power, but earned it on merit."

"Holy shit," said Derek. "Do you have any idea how rare those are? And banshees? We see a lot of weird people come through this shop and I've _never_ met a banshee. What happened to the rogue alpha after he resurrected himself?" Derek caught himself and looked away. "If you don't mind telling - I understand if you don't want to talk about it."

Stiles shook her head, laughing, "No, it's ok. He wasn't an alpha anymore, but we kept an eye on him. Peter's around, I guess. I've been in New York for the past six months, so I don't really know. I just got back to town like last week? Just settling into my new job and settling back into my pack."

"Wait, Peter?" Uncle Peter had gone missing from the hospital years ago, and just gotten in touch with Laura a couple of months back. Was there a chance..."Uh, what did Laura tell you my name was?" Because they used fake names, most of the time, just in case. If Stiles didn't know he was a Hale...

She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Derek...I didn't get a last name, didn't ask..." And then she groaned softly, running a hand over her face. "Hales everywhere..fucking everywhere. Sorry I killed you Uncle. Wait, no I'm not" She looked at him, her mouth set in a hard line, "What do you want me to say? We were defending ourselves. He was going to kill us."

"If he went rogue, I'm not about to blame you," Derek replied. "Well, I might if he'd stayed dead - I don't have much family left. But as it is...I'm just sorry he messed up your lives." He frowned. "And that Laura and I weren't there to help." They should have been there, but they'd been caught up in time-sensitive territory negotiations when Peter went missing, and by the time they were done, word had come through that the Argents were back in Beacon Hills, and they'd figured there was nothing they could do.

She shrugged, "Shit happens. We didn't even know you two existed until I started digging through my dad's old case files. And he didn't mess up our lives, per se. just...changed them drastically" She stretched out, "But enough of that. Stencil me up and tattoo me wolf-man."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit for Stiles and the prompt goes to my excellent collaborator.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	7. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Derek was away, Stiles got into the habit of visiting the loft when he couldn't sleep. As (good or bad) luck would have it, Derek finds him there when he comes back.
> 
> After season 3A, pre-slash, bed-sharing

Stiles woke up to movement and lights. That was odd. That didn't happen. Not here anyway. He sat up, trying to wake himself up properly when he realized who was turning lights on. He momentarily forgot himself in relief that Derek was back before he realized that he'd been asleep, in Derek's loft and he had absolutely no way to explain himself. Hell, he wasn't entirely sure he was up for explaining it to himself.

"You're back." Stiles said eventually. "I left my jacket, thought I'd come back and get it," he added, knowing it wasn't much of an excuse and it didn't explain why he'd stayed but it was all he had that wasn't a lie. He had left his jacket here. Months ago. He'd come back to get it and he'd found himself staying here occasionally because as hard as it was to admit, he missed Derek. He wondered how much of that Derek could actually tell before reminding himself firmly that werewolf  super-senses weren't mind reading powers. He was safe as long as he didn't outright lie.

Derek frowned. Why was Stiles sleeping in the loft? From the smell of it, Stiles had been here a _lot._ And he seemed...nervous, jumpy. That at least wasn't unusual, but Derek had only really known Stiles in the middle of a crisis. Was there a crisis? Was that why Stiles was here? The jacket was...not a lie, but it certainly wasn't the whole truth. "Yes, I'm back," he said at last. "Why are you  _really_ here?"

Stiles didn't have an answer for that. The thought panicked him a little. He needed to say something, something reasonable, apparently half truths didn't cut it the way he thought they would and he definitely wasn't telling him the whole truth.  "How  far'd you have to come to get back? You should get some sleep, you can interrogate me later." Stiles said, trying for nonchalance. He knew he couldn't go home now , not at three in the morning - w ith his luck he'd probably be eaten by something supernatural on the way home - s o he was going to have to sleep on Derek's couch. All he had to do was get through the next few hours without saying or doing something irreparably stupid. He could do that. He hoped.

"You're in the bed," Derek pointed out. Honestly, he was stalling. This was the first time he'd spoken to anyone from Beacon Hills since he left. He'd given Isaac his number, but he'd never called. Derek couldn't blame him. He didn't know if there was a place for him here, anymore. Scott had rejected him publically, over and over again, and almost everyone else had allied themselves with Scott, in one way or another. "And I've been travelling by stages. I stopped in LA to visit some people." There was a pack there that the Hales used to know pretty well - for obvious reasons, they'd needed some sort of treaty with them, but they'd been friendly, too. He and Laura had stopped there briefly when they fled Beacon Hills, and since he was travelling again, it had seemed right to visit. They'd been utterly shocked by the recitation of events since his return to Beacon Hills, but it had been good, to remember Laura with people who'd known her in the years since the fire.

"It's more comfortable than the couch," Stiles said with a shrug, as though it were a perfectly reasonable thing for him to be sleeping in Derek's bed.  He stood up, stretching a little and realizing that there was no way he was going to be able to go back to sleep now. He'd gone too far past the point where he could brush off what was happening and just go back to sleep. Besides, he couldn't afford to sleep right now, not while he still needed to come up with an excuse as to why he'd been sleeping here. It suddenly occurred to him that the loft probably smelled like him. How many times had he been here since Derek had left? To many to explain his way out of this one. He reminded himself that he just had to get to a reasonable time in the morning without saying telling him the full truth. Once the rest of the pack realized he was back Derek would be lucky to get a moment to breathe let alone to think about questioning Stiles any further.

Derek huffed. Stiles had gotten better at dodging questions while he'd been away, but 'better' didn't mean 'good'. He looked the teenager over, seeing broad shoulders he could swear had gotten more muscled while he was gone (or maybe that was just that Stiles was only wearing a clearly well-worn t-shirt right now), hair (that he was finally growing out) rumpled, hands clenching and twitching with nervous energy, and eyes...duller than he remembered. It could be that Stiles had just woken up, but he looked _tired,_ the sort of weariness that came from more than lack of sleep. Had something happened lately?  "How have you been?" Derek asked at last. "Any problems?"

"No more than usual. What about you, how's life outside of Beacon Hills?" Stiles asked as he tried to figure out how to answer how he'd been. He wanted to say fine but he wasn't entirely sure that that wasn't a lie. Would Derek be able to tell it was a lie if Stiles wasn't entirely sure himself? Probably. People that were fine didn't sleep in people's apartments while they were gone like the ghost of Christmas pathetic. "I've been okay." He added after a few seconds of thought. As long as Derek answered the question then they'd be able to shift the subject onto something that wasn't in danger of bordering the 'why are you sleeping here' kind of questions.

Derek had a feeling that 'okay' was glossing over a lot. And 'no more than usual' didn't exactly set his mind at ease. Still, Stiles didn't seem hurt, or frightened, so things could definitely be worse. "It's alright," he answered eventually, turning over possible answers in his head. "Not as dangerous," he added. There were the usual dangers of the road, of unfamiliar territory, but he wasn't responsible for anywhere else's problems like he was here. "Not exactly a life, though." He'd stopped for a week or two, here and there, but nowhere _permanent._ It wasn't a life, it was a sabbatical.

"So, you're back for good then?" Stiles asked. He hadn't meant to ask that. He hadn't meant to talk at all until he'd considered every possible response and gone for the most vague one. It was a stupid question and he shouldn't have asked it. He could only hope that it didn't sound as hopeful as he was pretty sure it did. Once the initial internal panic about asking questions he hadn't meant to was out of the way he tried to convince himself that it hadn't been too unreasonable a question. Hell, if he was lucky Derek wouldn't think anything of it at all.

Derek raised his eyebrows, surprised. He hadn't thought anyone would care, least of all Stiles. It was obvious that he did, though, even if Derek couldn't imagine why. "I don't really know," he admitted. "This town...has a lot of bad memories for me." Almost all of it was tainted with them, in fact. "I have a responsibility to look after it, though." As the last of the Hale pack, as the one who through teenage stupidity had set almost everything in motion, as the one who had bitten the wolves that set everything  _else_ in motion. "If I'm needed here, I'll stay."

It took more willpower than Stiles knew he had not to tell him that he was needed. It would be incredibly selfish on top of super suspicious. If Derek didn't think something weird was going on when Stiles had asked if he was staying he definitely would if he told him that he needed to stay. Besides, Derek had every reason to want to leave Beacon Hills for good and he wasn't going to be the reason that Derek felt obligated to stay. If he stayed that was great, if not, well, he'd deal with that when he came to it. "Nothing good is going to come of you coming back because you feel responsible for whatever bullshit is going to happen next. If you want to go, go. We'll manage." He said into the silence that had settled around them. It wasn't technically a lie. He would manage he supposed.

Derek barely kept himself from physically recoiling. Stiles' rejection hurt, he had to admit. He'd only ever done his best, but he knew all too well that his best had never been good enough. He'd left knowing he'd alienated almost everyone he'd hoped to call pack. Apparently things hadn't gotten better for his absence. "I'm sorry, I'll leave," he said, trying to hide the hurt under gruffness the way he always did.

"Oh God no, don't apologize." Stiles said quickly. He'd been so busy panicking about accidentally telling Derek the truth along with trying to keep his heart rate down so Derek wouldn't know he was panicking about accidentally telling him the things he'd been keeping from him that he hadn't considered that it might come across as if he didn't care. "I didn't mean that, I just meant you shouldn't be here because you feel obligated to, it's only going to make you feel worse. If there's somewhere you'd rather be then you don't want to be here dealing with this town's endless parade of weird shit." He added, having to resist the urge to tell him how badly he wanted him to stay - obligation or not, as selfish as that was.

"Oh." The unconscious tension in Derek's shoulders relaxed as he listened to Stiles stumbling over himself to explain. Stiles wasn't trying to make him leave. That was...good. Honestly, the loft smelt more like Stiles' than Derek's right now, and it was only reinforcing Derek's instincts that he was on  _Stiles'_ territory, and needed permission to stay. "I don't really have anywhere else to go," he pointed out after a minute. He could seek shelter with another pack, he supposed, but it was more likely he'd be omega. He didn't have family elsewhere, or any close ties. He'd kept to himself in New York, even when Laura had gotten more social. The fear was too ingrained. "If I stayed...would I be omega here?" he asked.

"Derek, it's your loft. You sound like you're asking me if you can stay, speaking of, actually, would you mind if I crashed on your couch? Just until the morning, don't want to risk getting mauled to death by something unfortunate on my way back home." He said, leaving off the part where he didn't want to go even if he could. The rational side of him knew that he should leave, of course he should. So far he'd managed to almost slip up more times than he should have, but then he'd never been great at being rational about things. "I don't know, I mean, I guess. You're the werewolf, you should know these things." Stiles added.

Derek laughed bitterly. "That's a first. When has my 'expertise' ever mattered? When have you ever listened to me? When has my advice ever _worked?_ No, Stiles, I'm done making assumptions based on what  _I_ know.  _You're_ the one who comes up with the plans, who trains the wolves who reject me, who saves our lives when everything goes wrong. So you tell me: am I pack? Could I ever  _be_ pack? Because I've been all but omega for months now, and I..." he trailed off, then steeled himself. "I don't want to be omega. If you think the others can't accept me, then I'll try to find a pack that will. I...trust your judgment," he finished on a sigh. "And don't be an idiot, you're clearly comfortable there. I'll sleep in Isaac's room." He assumed everything was still there. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe Isaac had come back for his things in the months Derek had been away. He wouldn't know, after all.

"I don't know what'll happen. I - God, I'm going to sound like an asshole, I'm sorry. I don't think Scott will have any of that. He was pissed off that you left. I can talk to him. I can try." Stiles answered, as he tried to think through, realistically, the chances of everything being fixed. If he couldn't fix it then Derek was going to leave. The thought of him leaving so soon after he'd gotten back, the thought that he'd be gone for good this time and he wouldn't even have that vague hope to cling to was almost overwhelming. "Even if this all goes to shit I don't want you to go," he said quickly.

"You...what?" Derek asked, confused. He wasn't surprised that Stiles thought Scott would reject him - that wasn't new. And Isaac, well, Derek had treated him like shit. The others would follow their lead, that had been obvious even by the time Derek had left. But Stiles...? "Why on earth would you want me here?" Derek said, still standing awkwardly just inside the door. "Can I sit? I'll get a chair."

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to." Stiles said, he was pretty sure that whether Derek knew it or not he didn't want to know. Could Stiles risk ruining everything so soon on the off chance that Derek did want to know?

Derek raised his eyebrows. "I don't, generally." He set a chair next to the bed, close enough that he could speak quietly and Stiles would hear him. "It's arguable that I ruined your life, like all the others. I haven't done anything good for you. Why would you want me to stay?"

"You didn't ruin my life., Stiles answered instantly. Was this really a conversation he should be having at three in the morning? A conversation that could arguably ruin everything before Derek had even been back more than a couple of hours. A conversation that was only happening because he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"I dragged you into all this, made you hide me, made you help me," Derek countered. "It's nice of you to say so, but I know it's not true." Even if Stiles, for some reason, thought it was. And from his heartbeat, he did. Good to know he was just as confusing as he'd ever been.

"Sure, but there was nothing stopping me from walking away from all of this after I helped you," Stiles pointed out, whilst he struggled to decide whether or not he really ought to be having this conversation after all, though he supposed it was a rather redundant worry now that they were basically having this conversation. Even amidst all of Stiles' concern about this exact thing.

"Then why didn't you?" Derek exclaimed. "Isn't it perfectly obvious that nothing good comes of being involved in this shit? The others are wolves, they can't get away from it. You're human!" Derek had had this conversation in his head more times than he'd care to admit. He didn't understand why Stiles cared so little for his own safety that he'd never even asked for the bite. "And if you insist on being involved, why on earth haven't you gotten the bite yet?"

"Because I can be involved without being a werewolf. Don't even try this you're just human shit with me. I'm not dead yet and that's something. I like to take it one life threatening crisis at a time," Stiles retorted. Why hadn't he walked away? Because he knew he couldn't pretend that any of this wasn't happening. Because as much as he complained about being involved it was what he wanted. One of the two, perhaps a little of both.

_"Yet,_ Stiles. You're not dead _yet."_ Derek leaned forward earnestly. "I'm well aware that you're perfectly competent as you are, but that doesn't mean you aren't vulnerable." He winced. "Fuck. Bad choice of words. You're easy to injure, and you heal more slowly. Of all of us, you're the most easily killed. I don't want that to happen, and I'd like to think you don't either." God, that was a terrible thought. No. Stiles wasn't like that. It wasn't that kind of recklessness that put him in danger again and again. Derek would know.

"If I wanted to kill myself I wouldn't wait around for something supernatural to show up." Stiles pointed out. "Sometimes, you need me. You're not lecturing me on how I'm only not dead  _yet_ then." He added. It wasn't often but occasionally it helped that Stiles was human. Admittedly, it usually ended in him being bait, but it hadn't killed him so far.

Derek sighed. He hadn't forgotten the rave. "I know. Just because I'm scared for you doesn't mean I'm not grateful you're here. And you'll note I never offered you the bite. I'd have given it if you asked, but I never pushed that on you." He had considered it. But Stiles was so staunchly independent. He seemed perfectly happy as he was, with Scott and his dad. He didn't need a pack, he didn't want an alpha. So Derek had looked elsewhere.

"I know," Stiles answered. It had been something they'd never actually discussed before. Mainly because there just hadn't been cause to. "And you really don't need to be scared for me, I mean, even when I'm bait I'm surrounded by werewolves," he continued.

Derek frowned. "I hate that. 'Bait'. You're not a fucking worm on a hook. You're the fucking brains of the operation." It wasn't that Stiles was alpha material - he really wasn't interested in leadership. But he was a strategist, a planner, a researcher. Without him, Scott would be dead six times over, as would Derek.  Scott'd better have acknowledged that by now. "And I know you've been hurt before, even if you never told me how it happened." He'd hated seeing Stiles like that. There'd been a few days when he'd been reeling from Scott's betrayal and he hadn't realised, but Stiles' bruises didn't heal fast. He'd noticed.

"Call it what you want. Research or not that's still what it is," Stiles said with a shrug. It didn't really bother him all that much. It was still helping. Just in a less research-y way and a more risky one. It wasn't like he'd not had the opportunity to get out of it. He must've been told a million times over that he 'really didn't need to' but he'd known, in the detached way that you things before you're about to risk your life, that he did.

"Stiles..." Derek sighed. "Why do you want me to stay?" Because if Stiles thought he needed to, then he would, even if it meant dealing with poisoned relationships and hovering on the outskirts of a hostile pack. As he'd said, Stiles was the brains around here. But he didn't want to get his hopes up. He didn't want to unpack, settle in, if he was only going to be moving on again. No, if he was leaving, then he'd sleep here tonight, visit the cemetery tomorrow, do the paperwork that needed doing, and hit the road again when he could. There was no point getting attached to territory that wasn't going to be his anymore.

Stiles paused for a moment, unsure how to answer that. Did he tell him the truth? Did he try and find his way around it? Did he suggest that they just talk about this when it was a reasonable time in the morning instead? "Because I've missed you," he answered eventually.

Derek stared. Everything about Stiles was totally sincere, but Derek still could hardly believe it. "I don't understand," he admitted at last, his voice hoarse. No-one just...wanted him around. Ever. Even with Paige, he'd had an antagonistic relationship. Kate wanted to use him. Jennifer wanted to use him. His family had to like him, they were family. Same with the betas he'd bitten, and he'd managed to drive them away anyway. People liked him when he was a pretty face, but they didn't actually like _him._ "Why would you miss me? I'm not..." he waved a hand in a gesture meant to capture all the ways he was utterly unsuitable for...anything. "...likeable," he finished at last.

"I just did, I don't know. If it makes you feel any less weird about this I wasn't expecting it anymore than you," Stiles answered, trying to keep his tone light. If this went wrong he could always shrug it off as just low-key missing him, the way you miss friends that moved or something. Whether or not he'd actually be able to pull that off he wasn't sure but he was hoping he didn't have to find out.

Derek didn't...he didn't understand this. Well. As if he'd ever understood Stiles. But there was an undertone to his scent, his body language, his tone of voice - something Derek hadn't figured out, but it was there. And he couldn't help but think that he  _needed_ to figure it out. "If I stayed..." he said slowly, smelling the hope in Stiles' scent, "...what would I do? What do you want?"

If. Well, Stiles supposed that that was closer to staying than Derek had been five minutes ago. If was a start. "Right now? I'd just settle for you being back here, though I'm going to miss your bed," he answered with a laugh that he hoped to hell sounded authentic. What did he want? Did he even want to consider what he wanted? The thought was terrifying. Besides, the chances of him saying the wrong thing and Derek leaving anyway were way too high to risk it even if he did want to spend the next five minutes thinking in depth about things he'd spent months trying not to think about.

Derek frowned, starting to put things together. Stiles had been here, a lot, had apparently been sleeping here, because he...missed Derek? The loft didn't just smell of Stiles, it smelt of loneliness and...longing. Derek decided to test the waters. "Just because I'm back doesn't mean you have to stop coming by. You look comfortable there."

Stiles nodded, watching Derek who looked suspiciously like he was trying to work something out. That probably wasn't good. Stiles tried to remind himself that there was nothing really to work out. So, the loft probably smelled like him. There was a whole multitude of reasons why that might be, even if he could think of them. There had to be. "Thank you. But I will totally move onto the couch because there is no way you came back home  _not_ to sleep in your own bed." He answered.

Home. Derek hadn't really had a home in years. He'd been trying to make this into one, before he left. Maybe...maybe with Stiles helping it could become one. He was good at that, actually, at making people feel welcome. It was a surprising talent, considering how abrasive he was. He sighed. You know what? It was too fucking late/early for these sorts of questions. "It's a big bed." Derek smirked at Stiles' surprise. "Look, it's, what, three in the morning? You're comfortable there already, there's plenty of room, I've slept on worse, I can't be bothered setting up the couch for you, and I'm guessing you're going to have to leave in a few hours anyway. I'm going to get changed - you shove over."

Of all the stupid decisions Stiles had made so far this definitely took the cake. Rationally, he knew that he should insist. That he could sort the couch himself, that Derek should just get some sleep. But he didn't. He knew almost before he moved over that he wasn't going to protest about this. It was too early in the morning for that and besides, how many chances was he going to get to share a bed with Derek? "Good, then we're sorted," he answered, shifting over and reminding himself of what was becoming a sort of mantra not to do or say anything stupid for the next few hours. He could do that. He could. He'd just start now.

By the time Derek got into bed, Stiles was stiff as a board. "Fucking hell, Stiles," Derek exclaimed softly, "calm down. I'm not going to murder you if a fingertip strays over the centre line." To be honest, Derek would like that. His family had always been affectionate, tactile, and since Laura died, he'd been starved of touch.

Stiles considered explaining that it wasn't that he was worried about Derek murdering him as much as he was worried that being too close to Derek was going to do awful things to his 'don't do or say anything stupid' plan. No, he definitely wasn't telling Derek that. "Been a while since you've threatened to murder me,  wouldn't put it past you," Stiles pointed out, the thought first and foremost in his mind that he just had to get through the next few hours.

Derek rolled his eyes and curled up on his side. "Go to sleep, Stiles. And don't steal the blankets." Not that Derek could sleep right away. No, he was drinking in the smell of Stiles and him together, the warmth of somebody else in his space, the sound of Stiles' breath and heartbeat as the boy calmed himself down. "I missed you too, you know," Derek murmured quietly.

Stiles thought for a second that he might have made it up, but then he wasn't crazy enough to be hearing things. To be haunting Derek's apartment while he was gone like the ghost of Christmas pathetic, sure, but hearing things? No. At least, he really hoped not. "Good to know." Stiles answered with far more sincerity than he'd intended.

Derek smiled a little where Stiles couldn't see. Stiles smelt happier than he had when Derek had arrived. Derek had done that, had made him happy. It was a long time since he'd made someone happy. "Good night, Stiles. We'll talk more in the morning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit for Stiles and the initial prompt goes to my anonymous collaborator - I can only take the blame for Derek and formatting.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	8. Two Sides to the Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles has bipolar disorder, but for the past few months he has been secretly not taking his medications, because he hates the side effects and he thinks Derek is going to dump him. Unbeknownst to him, the reason Derek's been acting strange is that he was planning to propose.
> 
> Alpha Derek (everyone is alive); established relationship; proposal; bipolar Stiles; intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear: text conversations between Scott and Derek are left-aligned, with Scott in bold; text conversations between Stiles and Derek are right-aligned, with Stiles in italics.

**Derek, is everything okay with Stiles?**

 

I thought so, until you asked

Why?

 

**it's just he's been acting a bit off recently.**

**today I literally just got 500 texts about a new flavor of chip he found at the grocery store.**

 

That is strange.

 

**yeah I know**

**is he on top of his meds?**

 

I don't know. He hasn't said anything.

I should check, but he'll be pissed at me if he finds out

 

**just check any way, he's acting like he used too when we were younger.**

 

Fuck. I can't find them.

 

**where does he usually keep them?**

 

Bathroom cabinet.

Let me check the prescriptions

 

**maybe he has them with him?**

 

No, he might take the day-by-day box, but not the actual containers of pills, there's too many

The most recent prescription I can find is from three months ago. Fuck.

 

**so he's not been taking his pills?**

**dammit Derek**

 

I should have caught this sooner

 

**what are we gonna do?**

 

I don't...I've never known him unmedicated

I just know that he hates talking about the bipolar stuff

He gets mad at me if I even mention it, most of the time

Why would he do this?

 

**well I've known him unmedicated and usually he is super happy most of the time**

**but he can get frustrated really easily**

**and I don't know, the last time he did it was because he thought I had a new best friend. I couldn't hang out one day and he just went all weird**

**I had to literally prove to him where I had been and why I was acting so strange...it was because I wanted to throw him a surprise birthday party**

 

You think he's off his medication because of me?

 

**probably**

**have you been acting weird for any reason?**

 

I...may have been

 

**what? why?**

 

I've been trying to figure out how to ask him to marry me

 

**dude seriously? omg congratulations! that's so cool!**

 

I don't think working Stiles up so much he goes off his meds is worth congratulating, Scott

 

**ok...I guess not**

**you need to text him and talk to him**

 

shit

 

**what?**

 

Just...there are so many ways this could go wrong.

Wish me luck.

 

**good luck man**

 

You've seemed a little nervous lately - are you okay?

 

_I'm fine why would I be nervous?_

_and babe guess what? I found a new flavour style chip at the grocery store. they're guacamole flavoured_

_you know how much I love guacamole, what a great flavour to make a chip_

_honestly I am gonna buy like 50 bags of the stuff and we can eat them for every meal because they taste so good and it won't matter because guacamole is good for you_

_so I doubt we'll get fat_

_but if we start getting fat we can have a tonne of sex to burn it off. that's a good idea, I like that idea._

 

A tonne of sex sounds good

And I don't know why you'd be nervous, which is why I'm asking

Is it anything I can help with?

 

_I'm not nervous_

 

That's good, then

I want you to be happy, if I have any say about it

 

_...why are you being weird?_

 

Scott told me he was worried about you, and when I thought about it, I realised you've been a bit off lately

And I wanted to make sure it wasn't anything I did, and see if there was anything I could do to help

 

_I'm fine can we drop it now?_

 

Stiles, I...I really don't think you're fine

 

_I am!_

 

You're acting really differently from normal

Scott says you used to be like this when you were younger, before you got your medication worked out

Is it not working as well as it used to?

 

_stop talking about me behind my back ok?_

_my medication is working just fine_

_I don't want to talk about this any more._

 

He's being really defensive. Advice?

 

**you need to actually sit him down so he can't run away, because otherwise he will**

**and then you need to keep asking him, it will come out eventually. he might be angry though.**

 

What if he avoids me because I've already asked about it?

 

I'm sorry, and I'll stop.

 

**then give him a reason not to avoid you...anything to make it seem like you're not gonna ask about it again**

 

I'll do my best.

 

_okay._

 

Do you want to bring home some of those guacamole chips tonight?

I've missed our movie nights

 

_I've already bought some_

_you wanna have a movie night?_

 

Of course you have.

Absolutely. I love watching you watch movies.

 

_can we watch star wars?_

 

Sounds good to me

 

_okay awesome! I'll come home right now_

 

Right

See you soon, love.

 -----

Stiles smiled widely when he read Derek's last text before carrying the bags filled with the guacamole chips to the car. He wasn't sure if he bought enough, but he could always go back. He hopped in his car and his hands twitched weirdly, but he ignored it and headed back to the refurbished Hale house. He got out of the car and grabbed the bags before running inside and throwing them down on the floor, excited to have a movie night. Derek had been acting weird recently, keeping secrets from him and staying out a bit late. Stiles was sure he was cheating on him but maybe he was wrong. He tried to push those thoughts away before he got sad as he started shoving the chips into the cupboards.

Derek bit his lip as he listened to Stiles racketing around downstairs. How had he not noticed this? They'd been mates for _years_ and he still hadn't known something was wrong. He had no idea how to do this. But...Scott and the Sheriff had explained, back when Stiles and Derek were first dating, that the meds were important to Stiles well-being, and he really, really needed them. So if Stiles didn't want to take them...Derek had to do something. He steeled himself, and came downstairs. "Welcome home," he called.

Stiles was shoving the last of the chips in the cupboard when he heard Derek as he came downstairs. He smiled and closed the cupboard before bouncing over to him, wrapping his arms over his shoulders and kissing him before he pulled back. "Hey... I'm gonna run and get _Star Wars_ from upstairs. You set up in here," he said, pecking Derek's cheek again before he bolted up the stairs. He went to his room and rummaged in the drawers before he found it, grabbing a blanket as well and heading back downstairs with it.

Derek tried desperately to keep his face open and pleasant, but when he opened the cupboard and saw literally a dozen bags of guacamole chips, his shoulders slumped. Mechanically, he picked one and emptied it into a bowl, took it into the living room, then came back for a bottle of coke and a couple of glasses. He moved the papers that had accrued on the couch - the sheer quantity and range of subjects should have been a clue - onto the dining table, retrieved a few cushions that had ended up in odd spots, found the TV and DVD remotes, and turned off the lights. He set his shoulders, fingering the ring in his pocket. "You can do this, Hale," he muttered. "You've dealt with worse than this."

Stiles headed downstairs and saw Derek had set it up to be nice for the movie night. He smiled as he headed over, seeing he had moved his papers onto the dining room table - Stiles had done quite a few recently but he was interested. He got to the dvd player and put the disc in before bouncing back and flopping down on the couch. "Are you ready for the best movie of your entire life? I want you to actually watch the movie and not me okay? You need to appreciate it in all its glory," he said as he kicked his shoes off haphazardly and crossed his legs beneath him, before he throwing the blanket over them both.

Derek arranged himself around Stiles as he usually did, an arm across his shoulders, leaning into his side. "I've seen this before you know," he murmured. "And the best movie of my life still couldn't be better than watching your face," he added, kissing Stiles on the cheek. He wasn't exaggerating. Stiles was always so expressive, with his huge eyes that made Derek want to hold him close and keep him safe, and his mouth that made Derek want to...do other things.

Stiles smiled when Derek put his arm over his shoulders and he listened to him. He snorted a little bit at what he said and looked at him and smiled. "Stop being cringy and watch the movie," he said, pecking Derek's lips as it started. He sat back and watched as it began, and started to mouth the words as the movie went on. This was his favorite movie, but about 15 minutes in he shifted uncomfortably, his mind drifting elsewhere. He looked around a little and saw one of the curtains wasn't straight. He wriggled out of Derek's grasp and headed over to fix it, picking up one of his papers on the way back just to read.

Derek tensed when Stiles got up. He'd hoped he could put this off until at least the end of the first movie, make sure that Stiles was feeling happy and comfortable, but...he just couldn't let this go. "I thought this movie was your favourite?" he asked lightly. "Did you want to watch something else?"

Stiles had just flopped down and was looking over one of the papers when he heard Derek speak. "Huh?...yeah it is, but I've seen it a billion times. I just wanted to read this, you carry on watching it," he said, nodding as he picked a highlighter out of the drawer next to him and shoved it in his mouth before beginning to read over the paper.

Derek grabbed the remote and paused the movie. "I wanted to watch a movie _with you_ , not a movie recommended by you," he started. "Please Stiles, are you sure everything's alright?"

Stiles looked up when Derek paused the movie. He looked at him as he spoke and instantly tensed up. He hated it whenever anyone asked him if he was okay or alright. He swallowed and nodded. "Yes, I'm fine Derek. Just watch the movie okay?" he said around the highlighter, shifting a little on the couch and looking back down.

Even without the treacherous skip of Stiles' heart, Derek would have been able to tell the lie. "Stiles, please don't lie to me. We both know you aren't fine."

Stiles listened to Derek speak and swallowed hard as he looked at him. "You don't know anything. You said you would stop asking me," he said as he pushed the blanket off and got to his feet. He didn't want to talk about this.

Derek felt his heart clutch in his chest as he looked at Stiles' expression. "I'm sorry. I said I would stop asking but Stiles, I can't. Something is _wrong_ , Stiles, and I love you too much to ignore it. Please talk to me," he begged.

Stiles listened to him and shook his head. "Nothing is wrong with me!" he said, throwing his papers down in frustration. "This is me, okay? The actual _me_. And if you can't handle it or don't like it then...then maybe you should just break up with me, okay?"

Derek reached towards him fruitlessly. "Stiles, please, I...I love you no matter what, I don't want to ever break up with you, we're mates, don't..." he struggled for some way to get through to him. "Remember Erica before the bite? Was she any less _her_ because her meds helped her not have seizures all the time? Or Scott's inhaler? Did treating his asthma make him any less _Scott_?"

Stiles stepped back from Derek when he tried to touch him. He looked at him as he spoke. He swallowed thickly as he stared at him and he winced a little at what Derek had said...he guessed he was right but no...no, he didn't understand. "I don't like taking them...they make me feel groggy and tired and I hate them. Scott and Erica's conditions didn't make them change moods... you don't know what its like. I don't want to talk about this!" Stiles said grabbing his shoes and shoving them on. His heart was racing in his chest and he felt sick.

Derek ran to stand between Stiles and the door. "You're right, I don't understand, but please, don't go," he begged. "Just...stay, Stiles, please, stay and explain it to me. You've never explained it to me, I didn't even know about the side effects!" He searched desperately for some way to make Stiles stay. "I only want you to be happy, you just have to tell me how to make that happen, if that means going off your meds then we can find other ways to manage it, just  _please_ stay and talk to me!"

Stiles looked up at Derek when he blocked his way and Stiles' head was spinning. He didn't know what to do. His eyes were burning with the start of tears as he stared at him and he swallowed hard. "There's nothing to talk about! You don't care. You've been spending time away from me, keeping secrets from me and acting weird. Just dump me and go and be with whoever it is you're cheating on me with because I doubt they will be as fucked up as me," Stiles yelled, trying to push Derek away. "Let me leave Derek!"

Stiles' words hit Derek like a punch to the gut. Stiles thought... "No! No, I'm not letting you leave, not until you believe me when I tell you that _I love you_ , Stiles. You're _not_ fucked up, I'm _not_ cheating on you, and I _absolutely_ care." The tears in Stiles' eyes were matched by a burning in his own. He caught Stiles' hands and held them to his chest, trying to pretend that Stiles' desperation to leave wasn't hurting him. "I don't know why you think that," he said, more quietly. "But you're wrong, and I'll prove it to you any way I can."

Stiles listened to Derek as he spoke. He felt him grab his hands and hold them on his chest and Stiles' head was spinning badly now. He felt trapped and confused and sad. He just wanted to leave, he didn't deserve Derek. Derek needed to be with someone who was better than him. His knees felt weak as a sob erupted from him and the tears rolled down his face. "You can't prove it. Please let go of me."

Derek pulled Stiles into an embrace. "I can, Stiles, I promise you." He hated keeping Stiles against his will, but he just didn't seem rational right now. "I'll let you leave in the morning if you still want to, but not tonight." He kissed him on the forehead and led him back to the couch. "Now, tell me what's made you think this, and I'll answer you what I can, okay?"

Stiles swallowed hard when Derek pulled him into a hug. He sighed deeply as he said that he wasn't going to let Stiles leave until the morning. He was led to the couch and he sat down heavily hands shaking as he wiped at his eyes. "You've been acting off with me. You shut the laptop every time I come into the room, you hide your phone...I don't want to read anything but it makes me feel like you're keeping a secret."

Derek sighed in relief. Hopefully the worst was over now. He pulled the phone out of his pocket. "Here's what I didn't want you to see," he explained, showing Stiles the emails back and forth with the jeweller, the text conversations with Lydia and Boyd as he tried to figure out a way to propose, the text to the Sheriff asking to 'talk about something important' and the following, more light-hearted texts where the Sheriff joked about when Derek was going to get his act together and actually ask. "You can look at anything you like," Derek added, passing the phone to Stiles.

Stiles heard Derek sigh before passing him the phone. He stared at him and swallowed hard before he looked down. He pressed on the conversation with his dad and he read a few before his eyes widened. He stared at the phone for a few minutes before he looked up at Derek and wiped his eyes again as he sniffed. "You...you were... you were gonna ask me to marry you?" he said voice quiet.

Derek felt the tension release from his shoulders and smiled wearily. He pulled the ring from his pocket and held it out on his open palm. "I've been carrying this around for a week," he explained.

Stiles stared at Derek and the ring in disbelief. He swallowed hard as he sat back and placed Derek's phone down, and shook his head. "No...no you can't want to marry me...You deserve someone better Derek."

Stiles heartbeat was completely steady, and that broke Derek's heart more than anything else he'd heard that night. He held up the ring. "There is no-one I could ever meet who I would want to wear this except you," he said solemnly. "It's yours, Stiles. Only yours." Seeing the way Stiles was trembling, the doubt on his face, Derek went on, "But I'll keep it for you until you're ready to wear it. Is that okay?"

Stiles watched Derek as he held up the ring and said he only wanted it to be him. He swallowed hard and stared at him before sighing a little bit. He slowly nodded and stayed silent for a second before he moved and wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry for causing all this shit."

Derek clutched him tight for a moment, just breathing in the relief of Stiles' embrace. "If I understand correctly," he said, " _I_ caused this shit by making you worry." And why he had thought a secret would be a good idea with their lives Derek would never know.

Stiles listened to Derek as he gripped onto him. He breathed out deeply as he sighed and nodded a little. "I just...I thought you were cheating on me or were going to dump me...I just couldn't handle it. I'm sorry. I should have spoken to you."

Derek kissed him lightly on the forehead. "Probably. But if you think I'm capable of letting you go unless you want me to, then I've been doing something wrong. And I should have noticed sooner."

Stiles looked at him as he spoke and he shook his head. "You've not done anything wrong, it was just me being stupid. And it's not your fault Derek. You've never... you don't know me like this. Of course you weren't gonna know what was going on."

Derek smiled at him, rubbing a thumb over Stiles' tear-stained cheek. "How about we agree to share the blame?" he offered. "You promise to talk to me if you think something's wrong, and I'll promise to pay more attention." He pursed his lips, then added. "And, uh...I kind of don't want to bring it up right now, but...we do need to talk about the meds."

Stiles looked at him and nodded a little before swallowing hard and sighing when Derek said they needed to talk about the meds. He looked down, but he nodded. "Okay...I haven't been taking them...in over three months, I think."

Derek frowned. He'd hoped he'd been wrong. "I am such a terrible mate," he muttered. "So why did you stop, sweetheart?" he asked. "You said, earlier, that they make you tired?"

Stiles looked at him when he said he was a terrible mate. He shook his head. "No, you're not. And...yeah, they just...they make me feel groggy and tired and I don't want to do stuff. It's like...like I'm numb." Stiles sighed, trying his hardest to find the words to explain it.

That...sounded horrible. No wonder Stiles didn't like them. "If they're that bad, why do you take them?" Derek asked, cursing himself internally. He should already know this shit, but every time he'd brought it up, Stiles had gotten mad or changed the subject. So he'd ignored it, like an idiot, instead of trying to learn about something that was part of his mate's everyday life. He was an awful mate, he really was.

Stiles chewed the inside of his mouth as he looked down at his hands. "Because I have to...when I take them, they help regulate my moods. I don't act as hyper and stuff. If I don't take them then I can swing between moods really easily and get super happy or really upset and angry. And then that can be bad, because I can act really erratic and not think about things before I do it. Or I can't be rational," he said, shaking his head. "There have been plenty of times when my dad or Scott has had to stop me hurting myself or other people."

"You...you hurt yourself?" Derek whispered, stricken. He took a deep breath, reassuring himself that Stiles, apart from the absence of what Derek now knew was the scent of his medications, smelt healthy. "God, Stiles, I..." Derek shook his head, dismissing that thought. "Looking back over the last few months...I think I get what you mean about the mood swings. And you've seemed kind of distractable, too - is that related?" Internally, Derek was thanking everything he could think of that things had been quiet lately. If Stiles was acting impulsive and irrational when there was actual danger...it wasn't just him that would get hurt either. The pack relied on him for research and strategy. They _needed_ him to be at his best.

Stiles breathed out deeply as he nodded and looked down ashamed. "Yeah, I just...I get into really terrible moods. I start to think some dark things. It doesn't happen that often but it can. And yeah, my mind tends to think of many different things at once and different stuff can be triggered by it. I'm sorry I never mentioned any of this sooner I just...it's hard for me to talk about because I want to forget about it. I want to feel normal but I know that will never happen," he said, sighing as he swallowed hard, feeling extremely embarrassed right now.

Derek hugged Stiles close, stroking his back. "Stiles, I know all about not talking about things. It was _years_ before I told anyone about Kate, remember?" He hadn't ever told Laura. He liked to hope that she would have forgiven him, but he'd never find out, now. "And I know a thing or two about pretending to be normal, too." He offered Stiles a wry smile. "I don't think I ever told you this...for about a year after Laura and I finally made it to New York, I did everything I could to pretend I was human. I didn't shift, I ignored my senses as much as I could, I tried to pretend I didn't know what phase of the moon it was...it didn't work, and in the end, I gave up. But it was really important to me at the time."

Stiles leaned into Derek heavily when he hugged him and touched him. He furrowed his brows as he listened before leaning back to look at him. "Really? No, I... I didn't know that," he said. He moved and cupped Derek's face and met his gaze. "I promise I'll take my pills from now on...we should probably go and get some now because I kinda threw all the other ones at the end of the garden." Stiles nodded, snorting a little bit. He felt better now than he had in a while. He loved Derek so much and he didn't want to upset him any more.

Derek laughed weakly. "Yeah, we should. And, uh..." he hesitated, but forged on. "I was thinking...I don't want to nag you about your meds, but I _really_ don't want this to happen again. You have to fill your prescriptions about once a month, right? So how about I come along whenever you do, and that way I can check in regularly without, uh, surveilling you."

Stiles looked at Derek as he spoke about coming to get his prescriptions with him. He breathed out deeply and nodded before he sat back. "Okay," he said, before getting to his feet and holding his hand out for Derek. "Come on, then. The pharmacy is closed right now, but I know Melissa can get me some as well. " He was still feeling weird. He wanted to stop this feeling and not be so erratic. It was like he could feel it creeping up on him, and it was his own fault for letting it get this bad.

Derek took Stiles' hand, and held onto it even after he stood. "Okay. And Stiles?" He kissed him quickly. "That ring is waiting for you whenever you're ready," he murmured.

Stiles looked at him and smiled when Derek kissed him before he raising his brows. He exhaled and squeezed Derek's hand tighter and nodded. "I know. How about I take a full month's worth of prescriptions and get back on track, and then we can talk about it again, okay?"

Derek smiled at him. "That sounds perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All credit for Stiles, Scott, the prompt, and actual knowledge of bipolar disorder goes to my anonymous collaborator - I can take the blame only for Derek and formatting.
> 
> This was a really interesting fic to write, because it gave me the chance to explore something I didn't know much about or really understand. I hope you enjoyed it.


	9. (Mis)communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek told Stiles 'I love you'. Stiles didn't say it back. Thank god Isaac's around to help them sort it out. 
> 
> Love confessions, miscommunication, awesome Isaac

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stiles-Isaac is on the left, with Isaac in italics. Stiles-Derek is on the right, with Derek in bold.

_What did you do? Derek's moping._

I didn't do anything!

_He was fine earlier_

[delay]

He told me he loved me, and I froze.

_You call that not doing anything?_

_Jesus Christ, Stiles_

I froze! I literally did nothing! And when I was ready to say something, he was gone.

_What were you going to say?_

...That I loved him too.

_Fuck, you two are useless_

_I'll talk to him_

Thanks, Isaac.

 

_But you'd better fix it when you talk to him next._

But I don't want to sound like I said it just /because/, you know?

_This isn't rocket science, Stiles - use your words_

He should know that I just...don't cope well with bombs like that

_Do you think he copes well with having feelings like that?_

_He's been tense for weeks._

No! But I just have to have time...ugh. I'm so useless. He probably doesn't like me anymore.

Let alone love me.

_He doesn't like /himself/, Stiles_

_He thinks you're perfect_

I love him so much, Ise.

_I'm not the one that needs to hear that._

How should I tell him?

_How should I know? I've never had to tell someone I love them. Ask Scott._

_Be kind, though._

_He's freaking out._

But you know Derek. How do I tell him that I love him too without it feeling like an obligatory reply?

_Is 'I love you' really all I have to say?_

...no, I guess it isn't.

_Tell him why, tell him when._

_Tell him how it makes you feel, the way you think about him._

Thanks, Isaac. Give Der his phone.

_Will do. Don't fuck it up._

 

Hey, do you wanna come over?

**Not now, Stiles.**

**I need some time.**

Please?

What I have to say to you isn't something I should say over text?

[delay]

**If you're breaking up with me, I'd rather not have to hear you say it.**

I'm not!

I promise, I'm so far from breaking up with you it's not funny.

**Nothing about this is funny.**

Exactly.

Derek, please?

[delay]

**okay**

Thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All credit for Stiles goes to my awesome collaborator.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	10. Best Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is getting tired of Scott ignoring him. It's a good thing he has Derek to rely on.
> 
> Friendship, anchors, pre-slash, Stiles and Scott are drifting apart, after 3B

could you come over?

What's wrong?

I just...today was shit, and I want to talk to you

What happened?

a bunch of things

Dad's giving me that look again that means he thinks we should move to Kansas

Because of the supernatural.

because I'm always getting into shit, yes

That's because you're Scott's second.

yeah, well, Scott blew me off when I tried to talk to him earlier, so.

Why?

busy planning a date

same old story

Kira?

yeah

I mean, I'm happy for them, and Kira's great, but...

You need your friend.

yeah

and, for the pack, I need him to listen to me

Do you want me to talk to him?

I don't know if it would help - he's ridiculously stubborn sometimes

I mean, you could give it a shot

I've given up on getting through to him

Give me a minute. I'll text him.

_[15 minutes later]_

Sorry. He's still going on the date.

I figured.

he'll always be my brother, you know

but it sucks to realise we aren't best friends any more

not really

Stiles, I'm sure that isn't true.

it really is

the person I go to when I've had a shitty day, the person I want to tell when I get good news, the person I hang out with by default, the person I feel most comfortable with, the person I can talk to forever - none of that's him anymore

I'm sorry, Stiles.

I had a best friend in high school. But, we just drifted.

It's sad, but it happens.

mm. I'm pretty lucky, I guess

I didn't mean it like that.

Maybe you should talk to Lydia.

why Lydia?

You're close.

if I wanted to talk to Lydia, I'd be talking to her right now.

I'm not great at helping.

you're doing a pretty good job

Well, that's surprising, but I'm glad.

I just needed someone to listen to me mope

Mope away, Stiles.

hah

you did get that bit where I implied you were my best friend now, didn't you?

I'm flattered.

that sounds like you don't believe me.

I think you should rethink, potentially.

why?

I think you could probably find a better best friend, Stiles.

...no, I really don't think I could.

Thanks, Stiles.

I still think you should maybe sit down and talk with Scott at some point.

yeah, I know

it's one thing when it's the two of us drifting apart as friends, but it's another thing when he ignores me as his second

the first, I can put up with, even accept

the second is going to get us into trouble

I agree. We need both of you.

he asks me for advice when he needs it, but if I try to come to /him/ with something, half the time, he isn't listening

which isn't actually new, but

Stiles, you two need to talk about /everything/. Not just pack stuff. You need to remember why you were friends in the first place.

we were friends because we were both social outcasts who got each other, and the history built up in layers

You loved each other. I think you still do.

well yeah, but...you can love someone and not be friends with them

like I said, he's my brother

Just try to talk it out.

you're probably right

I'm just sick of 'trying to talk it out'

I've been doing all the work for the two of us for months, and it's tiring

I know it is.

But you've got to keep working at it.

why?

why should I keep trying to maintain something he's /obviously/ not invested in?

Because you are. And even if you're the only one who still wants to fix things, you make sure you keep trying. Because then at least you can say you did your best.

E for effort is not actually rewarding, Derek

It's better than doing nothing.

I'm always going to be here for him, Derek. But as long as he's not here for me, I need to stop.

it's not healthy, and it's exhausting, and it's making me resent him

the last time our relationship was actually good was before he was bitten.

Before the supernatural.

and before Allison

Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if the human world and the supernatural didn't cross.

no. meeting you was great; I wouldn't give that up.

I wouldn't say the initial meeting was all rainbows and puppy dogs.

oh my god, you just made a dog joke

I'm going to cherish this moment

Oh God.

and no, but, to be fair, the first time I met Scott, I peed on his sandcastle

some things don't get auspicious beginnings

Why doesn't that surprise me?

because you know me

I'm not a very surprising person

once you know the basics

I wouldn't say that.

did I surprise you?

A couple of times.

when?

Any time you came back for me.

considering how many times it's happened, I think that's not so much me being surprising as you being incurably pessimistic

I think it's surprising since no-one else ever would.

that's because you're surrounded by idiot assholes, though

Idiot assholes?

they're stupid and wrong, and they're dicks for abandoning you

Which is why you surprise me.

because I'm not stupid and I'm not a dick?

Exactly.

it's kind of sad that that's surprising

sad for you, not sad of you

Thanks for clarifying.

seriously, you're worth coming back for. people are dicks.

Since we're being so open, I want to tell you something. It's pretty important.

...I'm listening.

You know how anchors work. Do you know what mine was?

um...I think Scott mentioned that it was anger once, but he didn't really go into it

That's right. Now it's you.

me?

Yes.

I'm your reminder of humanity?

Yes.

but...

You make me feel safe, Stiles.

...oh.

Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.

no, I'm not uncomfortable!

don't apologise!

I'm just...surprised

it's not like I can protect you from anything

It's not that kind of safety.

And besides, you have in the past.

special circumstances

I've just kept you alive long enough to save yourself

Which means everything.

I'm...honoured

seriously, it means a lot

You're okay with it?

why wouldn't I be?

I don't know.

is there anything I can do to...help, I guess?

I know Scott used to have one of Allison's scarves because it held her scent

obviously you've got better control than Scott did, but

if you need something

If there's something like a hoodie that you don't want, that would be good.

If you don't mind.

nah, it's cool.

I'll find something

maybe I'll give you that shirt I made you try on for Danny

Oh God, no.

but the /memories/, Derek!

Why Miguel?

Of all the names.

yeah, that was a stupid name

literally the first thing that popped into my head

Miguel was the first thing that popped into your head?

I think I might have been reading about someone called Miguel something beforehand

well, no, John was, but that's the most obvious fake name ever

John Smith would have been even better.

I think it might have been spider-man

Spider-man?

there's a spider-man called Miguel

That's pretty cool.

yeah, I don't think you're allowed to object to being named after a superhero

even if it isn't Batman

So you'd want to be named after Batman?

I'm not really a Bruce

Maybe a Robin then.

Dick?

asshole

That was an honest suggestion.

and no, I refuse to be any of the Robins

I like to pretend I'm not a sidekick

You're not a sidekick.

I'm well aware that I'm the comic relief, Derek

That would imply that you're funny.

you say that like you think you have a sense of humour

It's hidden beneath layers of scowling.

and apparently, a lot of sarcasm

I can occasionally be sarcastic.

you think?

I know, it's surprising.

it's only surprising to people who've known you less than ten minutes

I've known you a whole lot longer than that

honestly, I like your sense of humour

Thank you. I like yours too.

_[delay]_

...you make me feel safe too, you know. I can always rely on you.

I do my best

you do a lot

Thanks, Stiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my anonymous collaborator for all of Derek's lines.
> 
> I'm capping this work at ten chapters, but fear not - there will be more! 'Sterek RPs, Part Two' is coming soon to a computer near you.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
